I have sacrificed to the Lord yet still feel tremendous pain in my gut. Why am I so weak? Yet I did what any man would have done, she is so perfect, perfect for me! Is that the point here? Is that what I am missing? Is she perfect for ME, a beautiful gift from God? But no that can't be right. Oh God help me to make my heart clean. What must I do to know your Spirit? I can do it Lord, I can change back to the man you intended me to be, to stop this now. If only this temptation would stop...

I already miss her so. The way we talked into the night, never struggling for words between us. And when she laughed my heart laughed with her, the sound filling the room like the scent of a precious flower. Her every gesture was exquisite. I feel so close to her that she is already my best friend, my confidant, my love. But it is madness to think this way, to have such feelings, unless they are from God. And why not? I have worked so hard for this nation. So much struggle, so many battles, so much loss, pain, and suffering. I have been loyal to God, I deserve Bathsheba, at least more than Uriah does. Surely God never intended such a gentle beauty to spend even a moment with a brute like him? Is that why I have these feelings, because the Lord wants me to set her free? Is this His work, His plan, that I should be the one to remove such a burden from Bathsheba, become her saviour?

NO! Such action would bring great shame to the nation of Israel. Why should the consequences of my sinful actions cause distress to my people? That would be so wrong, it would be sinful. I will stop this now before anyone finds out. I can do this. I will fast. I will refuse this temptation. I will be righteous again. I have made a mistake that's all, and I can repair it. I am king after all...!